Thursday, May 14, 2015

Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

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#19. The Demon Cloud Awakens

Somewhere down on the ground, Brendan Fraser is running like hell away from that thing.
If you're one of the few people who don't see the face of a gigantic terror demon scowling at some poor soul out of frame to the left, congratulations, you have one of those brains that don't project gargantuan horror onto everyday things. For the rest of you: Yes, that's an unaltered photo and not bad CGI -- the picture was taken during an eruption of Cordon Caulle, which as far as we know didn't awaken a mountain-sized devil that then slowly swallowed all of creation.
And only slightly more terrifying ...

#18. Doppelganger Hasselhoff

This is the type of thing you see in your room when you're suffering from sleep paralysis. David Hasselhoff either constructed a manifestation of his own ego or is about to be eaten by a giant Steve Guttenberg.
Actually, that monstrosity is an oversized double of the Hoff created for that scene in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie where SpongeBob and Patrick ride on David Hasselhoff's back and make everyone in the theater uncomfortable. But don't worry, we're sure that as soon as the Hoff and his double were alone together, he didn't stick his cock into its waiting mouth.

#17. Man With a Freaking Hole in His Head

Jesus! Are these all going to be horrifying?
If this one isn't Photoshop, then it's clearly a man who just underwent hours of makeup to be in a horror film. That's Eli Roth standing next to him -- of course this is for a movie.
Wrong! The fun-loving Cyclops in the picture is named Billy Owen, and he really lost his eye and part of his skull to cancer (notice the artificial palate in his hand). He saw the loss as an opportunity, though, so now he acts in horror movies and haunted houses, like Eli Roth's Goretorium in Las Vegas.
LasVegascitylife.com
Honestly, the makeup guys don't have to do much.
That's ... kind of a cool story, actually. If cancer eats part of your face, just embrace it. There's a market out there for everything.

#16. The City in the Clouds

This looks like a place where intergalactic smugglers go to hide from Boba Fett. Clearly someone just set a bucket of dry ice near a bunch of Puzz-3Ds and took a picture.
However, this CGI-esque photo is actually the city skyline of Dubai (which contains 22 skyscrapers that exceed 75 floors) jutting up through some fog. We imagine that the view you're seeing here can really revolutionize weather forecasting, seeing as how you can measure the altitude of cloud cover simply by leaning out the window.
Speaking of completely fake-looking weather ...

#15. The Happiest Tornado on Earth

Either someone on the ground is Care Bear Staring the hell out of that tornado, or a leprechaun is locked in an intense battle with a weather witch.
In reality, this a photo from the NASA website, of all places. The tornado seemingly colliding with a rainbow is the result of pure coincidence. Are we the only ones who'd pay money to hear the "Double Rainbow!" guy's reaction to this?

#14. Black-and-White Woman Badly Cropped into Fashion Shoot

WireImage/Getty Images
OK, somebody obviously just pasted a character from The Addams Family TV show into a picture of one of the strippers from Rock of Love. It doesn't even look like a good crop-and-paste job, look at her feet!
But this is exactly what you'd have seen if you were there -- the monochromatic woman in the picture is a contestant from RuPaul's Drag Race named Detox, who had herself dramatically painted by a makeup artist to create the illusion of a haunted photograph from the 1930s (similar to the black-and-white Santa we saw back in one of our previous installments).

#13. The Guy Sitting in This Chair Fell to His Death Long Ago

Via YouTube
This picture is so obviously fake, we probably immediately dismissed it the first time we saw it. You can see the strings, for crying out loud! The chair is clearly being hung in the air in front of a big photo of the Earth.
Actually, this is a still frame from a Toshiba commercial. Those strings are connected to a weather balloon, which they used to hoist the chair into space befuckingcause.
Via YouTube
Too bad the balloon hauling the TV popped 20,000 feet back.
The commercial was inspired by an art piece called "Escape Vehicle No. 6," and as you can imagine, some pretty awesome things happen when the balloon pops.

#12. Beached Cruise Ship

Either this is a scene from an upcoming Roland Emmerich movie, or that cruise ship was improbably placed on that cliff by the gentlest tsunami in history.
Actually, neither is true -- what you're looking at is the Sun Cruise Resort and Yacht in South Korea, a hotel that was deliberately built to look like a maritime disaster. Some designer looked at a luxury cruise liner and thought, "Man, that is great, but what if someone could build one of those on land?" without realizing that we already have those (they're called "hotels"). Then again, we'll all be apologizing when this thing springs its gigantic wheels and goes rumbling through the city, crushing everything in its wake.

#11. College Dorm Collage

This looks like four different Target ads pasted together in a flier to let the neighborhood know how terrible your personal taste is.
However, look at the spoon coming out of the coffee mug, and trace the arm of that desk lamp -- this is actually just a single photograph. Move the camera slightly and ...
Bela Borsodi
Ow! Right in the spatial awareness.
The "edges" of the seemingly different pictures were all created using perspective tricks -- you can see the artist setting the whole thing up in this video, although they seem to have edited out the portion where Jimmy bumped into the table and they had to beat him to death.

#10. Don't Walk Too Close, It'll Bite Your Head Off

Clement Briend
At best, this looks like the spirit guide that appears in our plucky main character's cul-de-sac toward the end of the movie to tell him that if he doesn't ask Jennifer Love Hewitt to prom or whatever, he'll regret it for the rest of his life. At worst, this is the lazy Photoshop you are rewarded with when you click on one of those "REAL EVIDENCE OF GHOSTS?" links.
It's actually the benevolent face of Buddha, part of an art installation in Cambodia where several images of cultural significance are being projected onto trees and such with 3D projectors.
Really, no religious artwork has done its job until it has terrified a drunk person trying to walk home at three in the morning.

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